Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | My Orble | Login

Muzikal Mafia - October 2006

(The following is the result of an overactive imagination of a rabid Alice in Chains fan. While much of this is based on interviews and an actual performance of AIC, on MTv Unplugged in 1996, it is written as a fictional account of that event.)

Jerry helped Layne get into the beat up car he drove. Layne teased him mercilessly about it.

“I cannot believe you are still driving this piece of shit, “ Layne said, slinking down in the seat as much as he could, as if afraid someone would see him riding in the car.

“Like you fucking care, you shit yourself.” Jerry said matter of factly, fastening Layne’s seat belt, to which they both started laughing.


That’s where they were. That’s what their entire musical compatibility stemmed from. The tragedy of life as the comedy of life. They laughed about it because there was nothing else that they could do about it.

“Where are you taking me?” Layne was smiling a lot right now.

Jerry knew that when he went to the kitchen to find something for Layne to eat, which turned out to be spaghettios, Layne went back in the bathroom and shot up between his toes. Jerry didn’t begrudge Layne that. It was all Layne had to get through the day. He had stopped getting pissed a long time ago over Layne’s use. He had resigned himself to knowing that Layne was Layne. His pain and suffering were part of the success of Alice in Chains. Jerry would have gladly went back to obscurity if it meant Layne would come back from the death he would soon be facing.

“We have to meet with someone from MTV and then I gotta get you cleaned up, man. You look like shit.”

“I do not look like shit. I’m sexy.”

“Ok, you sexy motherfucker, I am gonna get you cleaned up because you’re too sexy for the show, then. How’s that?”


“Better.”

After the meeting, the band rehearsed for a couple of hours. Layne messed up on a couple of songs, but they hadn’t played together in a long time. Three years, in fact.

Jerry about came. This was it. This was his high. He had messed with drugs. He still did on occasion but the music, playing the guitar, playing and singing with Layne and the boys was what got him off more than anything did. The group decided not to rehearse so that the entire experience would be organic. For all they knew, this would be the last performance they would have. They always had to assume that. That connection was the cause of their success as a group. They didn’t take it for granted. They got off at every performance because of the unknown.

After they got their song order and ran through it a couple of times, Jerry grabbed Layne and headed off to get his haircut. Layne’s cornrows hung past his shoulders and were a massive ball of hair. Jerry didn’t know how long it had been since Layne had even washed his hair and he wasn’t about to touch it when helping Layne get showered that morning. It was a job for a professional.

Jerry had called ahead to Aimee’s and made an appointment for Layne. Aimee was the stylist who always did Layne’s hair. Aimee liked to tell everyone she was the official stylist of AIC but nobody else got their hair done but Layne. Weaves, cuts, colors…Layne was all about his hair when he was coherent. He chose wacked up shit that freaked people out. The band teased him about it constantly.

Just as they were walking into Aimee’s, Jerry smiled. He was inspired. Layne was out of his head and Jerry had to take care of everything, once again. Well, that was okay by Jerry. He sat Layne down in the waiting area in the back, reserved for high profile clients, got Layne a coke and went back in to talk to Aimee.

“Hey Aimee, listen, Layne is sort of indisposed right now. He’s…reaching his inner place, getting in touch with the music and shit. He doesn’t want anyone to talk to him at all today. Aimee’s eyes nearly closed from pleasure. She loved artists.

Jerry continued knowing that he was going to hell officially for what he was about to do. “So, he asked me to let you know what he wants and to make sure no one talks to him again until I pick him up.” Aimee was nodding furiously.

“Of course, anything. What would he like me to create today?”

Jerry fought the urge to roll his eyes and told her in minute detail exactly how Layne’s hair should be done. “OH! And one more thing, Aimee darlin’”, Jerry charmed her, “Layne doesn’t want to see himself today. It interferes with the connection between body and mind. You understand…”

Aimee smiled in orgasmic bliss, “Oh, of course! Not a problem. I will just do his hair in my private office.”

“Perfect.” Jerry kissed her on the cheek and smiled on his way out the door of the salon. Jerry called the rest of the band as soon as he got to the car. Jerry’s laughter could be heard all the way down the street.

Jerry guided Layne walked through the talent entrance at MTV, who was blissfully stoned out of his mind and completely unaware of the stares he was getting.

The rest of the band was rehearing one last time on a couple of songs when Jerry walked Layne onto the stage.

It was like a cartoon reaction, as mouths dropped, music trailed off, and then laughter. Long. loud obnoxious, gut wrenching laughter. “FUCK, man…what did you DO?” “I thought you were kidding, I swear to God, man, he is gonna kill you.”

Layne stood there looking at them somewhat confused and then joining in, he looked at Jerry. “Aww fuck, man, what did you do now?”

Jerry led Layne to a mirror. Layne stood there, letting his mind wrap around it. The cropped short hair, parted to one side like a catholic school boy…with the possible exception of the pink swatches running through it. Layne deadpanned to Jerry, “I am a sexy motherfucker.”

In the background, a guitar became a billboard.

(I apologize in advance for any irregularities in regards to shooting up, drug use, etc. I have never done it. )
80
Vote
   


VOICES VIEW: CONWAY TWITTYPATED

October 31st 2006 15:43
At the risk of annoying all of you, it's necessary for me to create a post just for Conway Twitty.

In time, you will understand how my mind works. It doesn’t stop thinking of the comments you and I leave on this blog once I hear the disembodied AOL voice say, “Goodbye!” I mull things over, I have a listen, I think about it. In the post, ‘Do You Think His Tractor’s Sexy?” I asked a question about country music, which led me to Conway, whom I started listening to his greatest hits and several days later, I am still turned on by him, which means, he gets his own damn post. *smile*

I can think of so many great artists that are worthy, and in due time, I will get to them...I promise. But today…we are going to honor a man I am passionately in love with.

This genteel, southern man with the curly hair and the shiny fresh scrubbed look to his face was not much to look at. He really wasn't. It hurts me a bit to even say that, but it's true and you all know how I feel about being truthful.

Anyways, no, he wasn't a gorgeous man, but beneath the surface, there was a man with a confidence to repeatedly bring women to ecstatic brinks of pleasure again and again. His voice was powerfully sexy.

Even now, as a jaded and well beyond virginal woman, cynical and guarded, I am deeply affected by his sensuality. I love his voice, I loved the yearning quality of his style…and I loved his duets with Loretta Lynn. (See, now you get how I think even more don’t you?)

What caused me to honor this man today, is the fact that we don’t have anyone in music today, that is really known that really has a sensuality to their music…or am I completely forgetting someone? I will say this, then, in case I am overlooking someone…no one that is really well known affects ME this way. How’s that? Let’s compare just a line or two from a rap song to Conway’s “(I know) You’ve Never Been This Far Before.”

Example 1:
"Yo, BITCH, take it up the ASS, BITCH...Yo, BITCH, take it up the ASS, BITCH!!"

(I will not give anyone who sings that kind of WORTHLESS SHIT any recognition on my site...but they are in rap and that is all I am legally bound to tell you to avoid plagiarizing. If you happen to BE the shithead who wrote those “lyrics”, you are an untalented piece of shit. Have a good one.)

Example 2: (Again the same lyrics I posted before but listen to them, really listen…I know you can hear it even as you are reading the words…)
"I can almost hear the stillness as it yields to the sound of your heart beating, (bum bum bummm)

The song goes on…building in tempo and you are right there…you are that girl losing her virginity…or the man who is taking it. It is an amazingly beautiful song and it has qualities that are sadly lacking in today’s music.

That is all I wanted to say…now, play along with me and tell me the lyrics to your favorite singer who can take you THERE…who turns you on like no other. Share with me.
65
Vote
   


Don't Panic...Just Something a Little Different for Today and Tomorrow....

(The following is the result of an overactive imagination of a rabid Alice in Chains fan. While much of this is based on interviews and an actual performance of AIC, on MTv Unplugged in 1996, it is written as a fictional account of that event.)

The pounding on the front door woke him up out of his drug-induced haze. Layne couldn't open his eyes for fear that the sunlight streaming through the window would blind him. His arm hurt like hell...he couldn't remember why but it hurt to even move it.

"Fuckin' GO AWAY!" he screamed and buried his head under a pillow. He had almost managed to go back to sleep when the door threatened to come off the hinges with the next series of poundings it took.

"Goddamn it, KNOCK IT OFF!" As he started to get out of bed, he looked down and noticed blood all over the sheets.

"What the fuck?!" Layne asked the sheet out loud, half expecting an answer. God knew there wasn’t anyone else to ask.

Between the blood, the sunlight and the confusion of the pounding still going on, he felt disoriented, sick and highly pissed off.

Blood had coagulated on the sheets from the needle he had put in his vein the night before. It was an easier way to keep his veins from collapsing so he could shoot up more than once a night. He would shoot up and then tape the needle still lodged into his arm in place. That way, he only had to get the needle in once, which was taking longer and longer to happen now. The open vein made the road to perpetually fucked up much easier and these days, he was all about easier when it came to existing.

Getting high didn't really do it for him anymore...but he had no choice. He had to keep doing it; there was nothing worse than drug pain. Whatever had to be done, was in order to get his drugs. The heroin and cocaine voodoo seeped through his veins several times every day.

Whoever was knocking his door down wouldn't give up. Whoever it was would get their ass kicked...it he could make it to the door.

“Why is anyone even fuckin’ here anyways?" he thought. He hadn't had company since the week before, when his dad had come by for drugs and money. Easing back onto the dirty blood stained sheets, “Who gives a shit?" he asked out loud.

Finally, the door came open and he looked up in time to see Jerry come through the door. Jerry stood there for a minute. It always took Jerry by surprise but he didn't know why it did anymore. Jerry mentally calculated the number of days since he had last seen his best friend. Layne had been holed up in his apartment for 7 days on a binge.

There was trash everywhere. Pizza boxes with a slice or two removed littered the kitchen, hallway and living room. Soup cans sat on top of the stove, half opened. Jerry crossed the room kicking pop cans and beer bottles aside to make a path. As he had many times, Jerry shut off the burner that had been left on again. He wondered how many days the stove had been left on this time. Jerry’s vision blurred for a second. He shook it off and shook his head. He knew better than to even care at this point. It was too late.

"God, man, you stink. C'mon..." Jerry's voice trailed off as he entered the bedroom door and went straight into the master bathroom on the left side of the room and turned on the water. As Jerry came back into the bedroom, all Layne heard was, “…shower. We gotta get shit done, man.”

“Fuck off, man. Really. Get the fuck out…” Layne's voice muffled by the pillow he had just pulled over his face to avoid the sunlight streaming into the room now that Jerry had opened all the curtains. “Shut the curtains…that shit is bad for you, I don’t wanna get cancer.” He laughed hysterically at his joke while Jerry was trying to pull the blankets off of him.

“Come on, man! MTV! TODAY! UN-FUCKIN-PLUGGED!” Jerry screamed at him. Jerry jumped on top of Layne in the bed and bounced like a little kid. “C’mon, man.” He begged Layne. “Just today.”

Layne smiled, his teeth ragged and half eaten away by heroin…”Fuckin’ A!”

Jerry helped Layne to the bathroom. Jerry’s arm was wrapped around Layne’s back and Jerry could feel every bone in Layne’s emaciated back. Layne didn’t like to eat much when he was on a binge. It took too much of the drug to get him off then.

Jerry wondered how much weight Layne had lost in the week since he’d seen him. He didn’t ask. He was long past asking. Jerry cared. He had always cared. More than he should have but he knew better than to let Layne in on it, Jerry thought to himself as they stripped Layne's filthy clothes off to get in the shower.

Layne hated that people adored him, loved him, cared for him. Even the fans. Layne called them all dumb asses. Layne would spit into the audience and watch fans try to catch it. He had no respect for anyone that had respect for anything he did. Self-loathing was a heavy foundation of Layne’s use and Jerry knew that Layne would be gone soon. There was nothing that could be done now.

Layne was already shitting himself without control. His liver was gone and there was no way he would ever be able to get new one. Not with his using. Not without serious detox and rehab. Layne had no interest in it anymore. He had given up on beating the addiction a long time ago. There just wasn't a way out...Layne was dying. He knew it and so did everyone around him.

As Jerry got Layne into the shower and leaned him up against the wall long enough to lather a washrag for him, Jerry felt like puking. He always did when things got this bad for Layne. It was such a damn waste, Jerry thought to himself. But he did what he always did, instead of caving to the desire to run away from Layne's problems, Jerry cracked a joke about a drug-loving, pedophilic Republican senator. While Layne was distracted from laughing, Jerry very carefully removed the needle dangling from Layne’s arm and washed away the caked on blood the way a mother would take care of her child.


To be continued...
79
Vote
   


I have a very simple question for you, my family. But more on that in a bit...I want you all to tell your worthy friends to come visit soon. We are seeing a lot of repeat visitors and we want that to continue, but we can't spread our international message against bad muzik without new blood...be fruitful and multiply...Invite one person to come check us out this week...but only if they are worthy. *smile*

Back to the question...

[ Click here to read more ]
109
Vote
   


Oh, come play with me, this is going to be fun!!

Who would be the ultimate group/band? You may choose from the living or dead. You may even make one person out of two rockers, a sort of wicked chop shop. Do what you will, you are the official god of rock.

[ Click here to read more ]
82
Vote
   


What Group Are You With?

October 24th 2006 02:21
You know what I mean and you know you have done it.

You jump out of the shower and grab a towel. You are either getting ready to hit it or head out to meet friends when THE song by THE artist comes on...and you are no longer standing, dripping wet in your bedroom. You are THERE... You are THEM....

[ Click here to read more ]
86
Vote
   


We can't have a serious discussion about music, and not include country. We all know that there have been major artists in country music. Johnny Cash cannot be disputed. What I am asking you to consider is whether country music, in terms of overall impact and relativity to Joe Q. Public, could be labeled as possibly THE most important genre of music today?

Many think so. I am not sure that I would say it is the most important genre, but there is no disputing that the entire genre is geared towards a collective experience, regarding milestones of life and our reactions to experiencing them or not experiencing them.

[ Click here to read more ]
74
Vote
   


LIke a Comfortable Pair of Shoes...What Artist Never Lets You Down?



[ Click here to read more ]
106
Vote
   


Post End Text

October 21st 2006 03:07
Thanks for stopping by...visit my other posts and don't forget to subscribe to the email feature. A notification will be sent to you when something new has been added.
60
Vote
   


Voices' Review: Blue October, 'FOILED'.

October 21st 2006 00:38
I was having one of those horrible days. You know the kind where you leave to get some milk and you begin to think you should just keep driving…past the store, past the post office, past the floral shop until you get to the interstate and take off without looking back? I was about to the post office when “Hate Me” came on the radio. I cried it all out by the end of the song and felt like a new woman. I went out and got the CD the next day because I was hooked…or so I thought.

I popped the CD in on my way home from the store and was horribly disappointed. I skipped through track after track and hated almost every song. I slipped the CD into the back recesses of my massive CD collection and left it there for weeks. It didn’t matter, I wouldn’t listen to it again. I didn’t like it at all…or so I thought


[ Click here to read more ]
54
Vote
   


I want to know if you think Christina Aguilera is an artist or a performer? Remember my rules for telling the difference? (Read Five...Six...Pick Up Sticks, Who's the Best Drummer Ever...(or something like that...)] Or give me an example of someone that you feel is under or overrated.

What are your snobbish rules for determing the difference? Now, you may not think you have them, but you do. It's that factor, that thing, that makes you turn away from the Britney Spears CD and pick up Hinder, or AIC, or Lenny.

[ Click here to read more ]
82
Vote
   


Best Concert EVER...

October 19th 2006 03:10
Now, for a music snob, I will tell you, I don't like concerts. I mean no disrespect to the gods of music when I say that. It is a very personal thing. When I am listening to new music or music that I really love, I have to be alone. The room needs to be quiet...the music has to be loud. I do not like to share my experience, my love for "this" music with anyone until after I have listened to the whole CD all by myself. But I know a lot of people love to concert hop.

My friend, Tinkster, goes to concerts all the damn time. I don't know how she does it but she sees everyone and she loves it. It's actually pretty cool when she gets new tickets. She calls EVERYONE, she is so damned excited. I have gone to four concerts in my entire life:

[ Click here to read more ]
94
Vote
   


COMMUNITY MUZIK BOARD

October 18th 2006 00:21
COMMUNITY BULLETIN BOARD

For any up and comers who rock like gods that would like a little advertising or anyone with music related events...

[ Click here to read more ]
81
Vote
   


This should invite some pretty impassioned responses. People can respectfully disagree about guitarists, vocalists and lyricists..but everyone is pretty damned serious about their pick of a drummer.

I think...no I KNOW...that the greatest drummer of all time, without a doubt -(just trying to add to the argumentative nature of this post)- is...

[ Click here to read more ]
207
Vote
   


Admit it, as a bonified music snob, you love to teach people about music. You love to be the one that knows who was in the frontier of a new sound revolution. You love to know the names of bands before anyone else does. You love it that you know more about music than any of your friends...and above all else...you love to turn them on to music you have discovered...don't you?

*Nodding* It's ok...I know. I'm a snob, too.

[ Click here to read more ]
114
Vote
   


There's Paris Hilton...Sick her!!

October 14th 2006 20:40
I am not sure about anyone else but...wait. Yes, I am sure about everyone else...I am going to speak for everyone when I write the following entitled...

A Open Letter To Paris Hilton

[ Click here to read more ]
71
Vote
   


Lucky to be Dead...

October 11th 2006 08:33
Is there something to be said
for the lucky who are dead?


[ Click here to read more ]
78
Vote
   


60
Vote
   


"Come lovely and soothing death, Undulate round the world, serenely arriving, arriving, In the day, in the night, to all, to each, Sooner or later, delicate death."
~ Walt Whitman


[ Click here to read more ]
89
Vote
   


Music conjures up long lost memories. The sound of a riff, the sensuality of a lyric or the truth of an emotion tugging at your subconscious to remember...please remember.

I have driven down the road with little more on my mind than the grocery list when the ever present musical strain coming from my dashboard speakers taps me on the shoulder and the lyrics may as well have said..."Excuse me...have we met?...oh yes...now I remember. Did you ever find those earrings you lost in his backseat?"

[ Click here to read more ]
78
Vote
   


Love to Love 'em!

October 8th 2006 12:57
EVANESCENCE


I cannot listen to this group without hoping that Amy Lee will drop out of the sky somewhere and just suck the lifeforce from my jugular. Love her, love the lyrics, love the style -(I could NEVER get away with that when dropping my kids off at a soccer game. I don't know, maybe I could...
[ Click here to read more ]
75
Vote
   


Love to Hate 'em!

October 8th 2006 12:45
KATHRYN MCPHEE


Now for the mean, catty personality to have a go...
[ Click here to read more ]
70
Vote
   


Musical Genius=Mentally Ill?

October 8th 2006 04:41
Can it be fairly stated that musical genius is derived of some form of mental or social-based disorder? We can all think of various artists who have lost their lives at the top of their career due to something self-destructive; drugs, suicide, etc. But is it fair to say that the genius of their talent contributed to their downfall or is the mental disorder-for the purposes of categorizing whatever it was that led to their deaths- separate from the talent?

Whose death do you feel had the greatest impact on music today or to you, personally and why?

[ Click here to read more ]
83
Vote
   




Tell me about the most spiritual moment you ever had listening to the lyrics of a song.

[ Click here to read more ]
238
Vote
   




Ok..are you a serious music fan? Do you know the difference between unplugged and the electricity going out? Do you know what you really like and are you a snob about other 'lesser' groups or acts? Where is the line and who is crossing it? Are new acts truly talented today or produced


[ Click here to read more ]
101
Vote
   


More Posts
4 Posts
2 Posts
5 Posts
132 Posts dating from October 2003
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
Moderated by Ann 2
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]